Wanted: A Shard of Unicorn Horn


Did anyone else notice the proliferation of unicorns this Christmas? Slippers, key rings, onesies and that sort of thing I mean, not the genuine article (Latin: Unicornus Mirabile), which I understand is in fact very rare indeed. However, since they are being so publicly recognised once again I became determined to acquire a shard of unicorn horn for my collection.

Having searched high and low, and googled it on several occasions, this task is proving to be quite difficult and hence this public appeal. If you are in possession of a such a thing, please do get in touch.


You are probably already aware, but a unicorn is an extremely rare creature. It is also extremely shy. They have a certain amount of personal magical ability, but the exact perimeters have been impossible to research in any methodical fashion. We shall have to content ourselves with a number of conjectures instead. The horn of a unicorn (unattached) however, is even rarer; owing to the fact that they are only shed and regrown once in a thousand years, and one must first obtain permission from the actual unicorn it used to belong to before it becomes possible to perceive, let alone distribute it. (I would like to add here that, though not technically made of stone the unicorn horn has a consistency very like glass.)

Nevertheless my endeavours continue, and I hope that someone reading this can find it in their heart to part with such a treasure.

Yours sincerely,
Director and Curator,

Rock bottom

Of all the things one could accumulate - a stone that has been up someone's bum would not be most people's first choice! But I came across this unexpected treasure not so long ago at Bart's Pathology Museum

With a gleeful grin on his face, the museum's Learning Manager Steve Moore explained further. Apparently this specimen was once the property of a sailor who found it difficult to urinate. Medicine had no easy answer to this conundrum in 1886, and so he took to pushing a bottle up his rectum to help alleviate himself. One day he couldn't find his bottle and so greased up this stone instead.

Unfortunately the stone then got lost and was only located by a doctor willing to insert his arm inside the unfortunate gentleman, up to his elbow!!! I am now starting to feel a little queasy are you? Anyway, the stone was eventually retrieved through abdominal surgery and the man recovered.

Let's all learn a lesson from this one! And if I could steal it for my museum I certainly would...